TODAY I AM officially Menopausal: a year since my last period and for me a time of celebration, not only because I now get approximately 60 more days a year of uncomplicated sex, but because I’m still having great sex.
I’m almost 56 – a bit old to be starting this next step but, with the average age of menopause being 51 years old, someone has to be at the top end. Throwing away the pads and tampons I’ve been using for 44 years was a joy.
I’ve also been married now for 33 years and, while many older women go off sex, especially after the menopause, here are a few things that I did – that you could do -to keep that spark alive:
- I visited a nudist beach: I can’t tell you how liberating it is to see so many body confident people, some of whom are, sure, much slimmer than you but many are much bigger, and they don’t give a damn. The pleasure of sun and a slight breeze on your fully naked body is sublime.
- I lost weight. 20 lbs in total, carried over from having two babies, apathy and laziness. For me this was fabulous; I gained a huge amount of energy and body confidence. I’m certainly not perfect – like most women I have a tummy and my boobs are not as pert as they used to be, but I feel great in myself.
- I’m very good at setting the right mood lighting so I look my best. Sensory depravation is electric too so getting your partner to wear a good eye mask or black out hood during sex is perfect for everyone.
- I removed all my pubic hair and groom my body. Again do this for you, shave your legs and underarms so you can wear short sexy dresses. Pluck your eyebrows and use face masks but, most of all, remove all your pubic hair. Shaving is quick and easy but for the longer term, investing in a series of laser treatments is best. It’s not too painful, I promise, and though potentially embarrassing, the ladies have all seen everything there is to see and won’t make you feel bad. For me having a full Hollywood is one of the best things I’ve done.
- I don’t wear knickers around the house and often outside. It really is incredibly sexy walking around with a secret. Revise your underwear drawer; buy underwear that you love and makes you look good and feel sexy.
- I bought several vibrators. The Hitachi Magic Wand, mains-powered, will change your life. I didn’t know I was multi orgasmic until I played with this. A real game changer. Once this has taught you what the sensation feels like you can use those same feelings to come without it.
- I buy decent lubricant. Don’t just go to Boots and buy the stuff in the blue bottle, look online and get some good stuff that won’t drip – some even have some heat sensation in it which just adds to your pleasure.
- I watch porn. There is so much good online porn and, not only can it turn you on, it can also show you things you haven’t tried before or you want to try on your partner. Be adventurous. Watch with your partner.
- Visit a sex shop with your partner. Ask the owner for advice, they really do know what they’re talking about and few of them are sleazy nasty places these days. Or go online – one of the largest ones I’ve used will send out whatever you want in very discreet packages and have a good returns policy if you buy the wrong thing.
Getting older has taught me to relax with sex, enjoy the sensuousness of a touch, a gentle breath onto your lips, the promise and anticipation of more. Experience over 37 years helps but so does body confidence and awareness, not giving a damn and being in a loving relationship.
