QUIT SMOKING. LOSE WEIGHT. BE A NICER PERSON. These are the general clichés people talk about in January when they’re thinking about setting New Year Resolutions.
For most of us, it’s a ‘do-over’ month; a time for self-reflection where you dig deep and resolve to overhaul those niggling bad habits you’ve been promising yourself you’d change for months. But for all our good intentions, few of us actually stick to our promises. In fact, University of Scranton research suggests that just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s resolutions.
The inherent problem with resolutions, says success coach Jody Shield (jodyshield.co.uk), is that the magnitude of the task means you’re often primed for failure. This fits with the Super-A philosophy based on the Transtheoretical Model of Behavioural Change: if you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? (For more on this, read “Rewiring the Body” in Issue 10 of the Super-A Journal).
We pick January as the best opportunity to focus on new behaviours, new thoughts and new belief systems but what tends to happen is that your resolutions are only short-term. This means the subconscious part of the brain thinks these big promises are only applicable for January. So while we might stick to difficult or challenging changes at first, it is all too easy to revert back to old patterns and behaviours.
Break it down into small chunks
The main problem with these mammoth resolutions, as opposed to smaller intentions, is that a big list of huge life changes can be overwhelming and unmanageable. When you’re thinking about the year ahead it’s better to break your resolutions down into steps – achievable goals you can put a deliverable date on.
A good starting point can be to ask yourself ‘What’s one thing I can change and implement right now?’ This way our self-limiting beliefs are less likely to trip us up before we’ve even got started.
Don’t be so hard on yourself
The language we use to set resolutions can also be inherently negative, while shifting to goals instead is arguably more positive. Rather than thinking, ‘This year I need to stop smoking’, a goal could be, ‘I’m not going to smoking for three months and put the saved money towards a holiday.’
Avoid the phrase ‘give-up’, ie, wine, crisps, etc, which will make you feel like you are making a sacrifice. Instead, say you are ‘stopping’ – making your goal a positive affirmation.
These approaches will help to reduce the fear of making major changes or breaking longstanding habits.
Tips for setting some achievable goals this year…
Write down the things you love
Start by making a list of the things you love doing and aim for at least 10. What makes time fly? When do you feel most energised? Be very specific about the things that are unique to you – it could be spending time by the sea, or getting up early and enjoying time to yourself in the morning.
Spider diagram the areas that you’re not happy with
A great exercise is to draw a spider diagram with the different areas of your life coming off it, such as work, home and relationships. Rate each area out of 10 and then you can really hone in on the areas that are making you most unhappy.
Visualise where you want to be a year from now
Imagine your life a year from now. If you could ‘live your best life’, where would you be living? Who would you be with? What would your dream existence look like? Spend five minutes existing in your dream life.
Set your goals
Now you know what your ideal year looks like, set a list of 10 measurable and manageable goals that you’ll attempt to tackle over the next 12 months. Focus on adding a date next to each so you’ll have a deadline for making them happen by. By tackling each goal one by one, starting with the one with the shortest deadline and working through the list in chronological order, your achievements stay measurable and each time you reach one goal you are left motivated to achieve the next.
We can all look forward to 2021 with mixed feelings and a certain amount of trepidation about what the year might hold for us but being in control of our goals will help us to stay positive, no matter what the year throws our way.
