A LEOPARD DOESN’T get up in the morning and think, ‘Am I a good leopard or a bad leopard?’ It just says, ‘I’m a leopard!’
But us humans seem to question ourselves all the time. Am I good enough, interesting enough, confident enough?
Maybe we should get up in the morning and simply say, ‘I’m here. This is me!’
I often ask clients what they think a confident person looks like. They usually say it’s about standing tall, shoulders back with head held high. Some say confident people smile a lot. And that they have a sense of purpose.
But I discovered there is one thing that all confident people are doing physically. If you do this one physical thing, you will look like confident. And if you don’t, you won’t!
Confident people have a low centre of gravity.
The centre of gravity is in the lower gut, below the belly button. If you think about martial arts like Karate and Tai Chi, or Yoga and Pilates, or even gym work, all these disciplines are about having a strong core and a low centre of gravity.
And that’s where confidence also sits.
Keeping our centre of gravity low will make us feel physically grounded. And if we feel physically grounded, we speak more slowly. And if we speak more slowly, we come across as being more considered and therefore more confident.
At a job interview, for example, rather than speaking too fast, over justifying and saying too much, we will look more confident if we answer a question and then stop talking. I often say to clients, ‘Say it low. Say it slow. Then Stop!’
Sometimes a lack of confidence comes from a previous incident. Maybe your boss said you were a poor presenter, or you’d had a bad flight on an aircraft and now fear flying. But as most of the cells in our body regenerate every seven years, surely we can put the past behind us, and learn to regenerate our minds too. And start again with a clean slate.
Of course, the more you do something, the easier it gets. I feel much less nervous than when I first started. The very first time I stood up in front of an audience was when I was running a drama course for adults. I remember thinking, why would these people want to listen to me at all?! But generally, when we’re giving a speech, we have more experience than the audience does. Otherwise, it would be one of them standing up there, instead of you!
And we should also remember that audiences aren’t usually trying to catch us out. They rarely sit there thinking, ‘I hope this’ll be terrible!’ They want us to be good.
Robin Kermode is one of Europe’s leading communication coaches working globally with senior business leaders, politicians and corporate teams. He is a popular keynote speaker and author of the best-selling book SPEAK SO YOUR AUDIENCE WILL LISTEN. His podcast, THE ART OF COMMUNICATION, has over 30,000 listeners. Robin has been an actor for over 30 years and is a recognisable voice over artist (he is the MC of the ATP World Tour Finals each November at The 02 in London). He is a respected media commentator and a leading body language expert for the Daily Mail, The Telegraph and The Guardian.
