I’M NOT AFRAID to revaluate the very things I believe define me. And through this process, I have learned that there is nothing wrong with a man being stoic, independent, and dealing with things on his own, because these are invaluable tools for life. Neither do I live in a traditional male straitjacket.
So, when the Telegraph newspaper wrote that Tom Ford was the blueprint for what every other man wants to be. I thought there was no man that I knew would agree with that statement.
He is incredibly stylish and well turned-out, but no straight guy wants to be known as a POWDER PUFF – I know that statement will annoy some people, but it’s the truth. I’m tired of reading superficial rubbish delivered as worthy editorial, littered with universal messages that cannot hold water.
A blueprint for what every man wants to be is someone who stands for something other than their gratification. These days men like Tom Ford simply fuel the objectification of men, convincing them that how attractive they look will have a significant impact on their professional and personal success. When he said, “there’s not a man on [the Oscars] red carpet who is not wearing makeup. Most straight actors I know get quite used to it. Even when they go out in real life, they grab some sort of bronzer and they throw it on. They dye their eyebrows, and they dye their lashes – they know the tricks.”
The male-makeup market has expanded, with men’s makeup companies doing their best to butch it up. A British men’s makeup company released an ad with a tattooed man and a skull ring. Another designed a concealer to look like a pen that’s known as a tool and named it “Camo”.
Men’s skincare brand Mënaji has seen less need for a tough-guy act. Its president, Pamela Viglielmo, said, “If I show a concealer stick to a dude in his fifties, he’ll first ask me, ‘What is it?’ Then he’ll say ‘No, thanks.’ But if I show a concealer stick to a guy in his twenties, not only will he know what it is, but he’ll grab it to see if it’s his shade.”
Even GQ, the Bible of men’s fashion, disagree with another one of Ford’s assertions that “Gentlemen do not wear shorts even if the temperature becomes unbearable. They are simply never appropriate.” Women have legs and wear shorter skirts in the summer– men have legs and wear shorter trousers in the summer too. He shouldn’t allow his insecurity about his body to influence the way men dress. If you have good legs, then show them!
I always wear shorts in the summer, as do most British men. And like most guys, I dress for real life. I own several tailored suits, expensive shoes and all the accessories I want. But the bottom line is I only wear them on a ‘need to basis’ when I’m going somewhere nice or a meeting. The rest of the time, I’m in my white-T-shirts, sweatpants or jeans.
As a society, gender roles have historically been rigid, with men being the leaders making the big decisions. But as a young man raised in a single-parent household (by my mother), my influence and guidance were different because a woman was driving the significant decisions that formed me. And it was my mother, not a man, that taught my brothers and me that men should be stoic, independent, and deal with things on their own; it was her blueprint for life. And yes, I want my sons to be like me, but they also know they have the option not to be.
Ford’s preoccupation with perfect youth does not come the Super-A way. Indeed, some men take pride in their appearance as women do, while others accept how they look and get on with life.
A man beautifying himself is in no way a blueprint for what every other man wants to be. Whether male or female, Super-A’s are self-assured and confident in the knowledge that the way they live their life enables them to look and feel the best that they can, all of the time.
