CHALLENGE AND ADVERSITY are no strangers to athletics icon, Dame Kelly Holmes. The middle-distance runner – who made history when she won gold for both the 800m and 1500m events at the 2004 Olympics in Athens – has battled a string of injuries and health problems during her career.
Since her retirement from athletics in 2005, she’s forged a successful career in health and fitness, and founded a charity – the Dame Kelly Holmes Trust (damekellyholmestrust.org) – to help other athletes and disadvantaged young people.
She has remained an ambassador of sport in the UK, and dared to challenge populist opinion, standing up to those who disagreed with her stance on the exclusion of transgender athletes into mainstream competition.
She’s also since talked openly about her mental health experiences, how she quietly endured mental health difficulties, with depression and anxiety that at times led her to self-harm.
Now, in her new book, Running Life, an inspirational guide to mindset, fitness and nutrition, the Kent-born 48-year-old opens up about the pressure of life in sports, the conversation that “saved” her life, and wanting to help others live well and achieve their goals.
‘I don’t want to be someone on a pedestal, pretending everything’s perfect’
“I’ve learnt so much about myself through what I’ve gone through, and I want to help other people and show them that the magic triangle of nutrition, fitness and positive thinking is the key to a happier and healthier life,” she says.
“When I look back on my own (sporting) achievements, I can see that, to some people, I must have had it all. Lots of sports people have ups and downs: You are terrified you will never achieve your dream, but it is having the dream that keeps you going and pushing for success.”
“But sometimes, sport can be the loneliest place in the world: You can be surrounded by a team and still feel totally alone. With running, there’s so much physical and mental pressure. I had numerous problems for seven years of my 12-year career – a stress fracture, a ruptured calf muscle, a torn Achilles tendon, calf tears, glandular fever, tonsillitis. I was emotionally drained and worrying about not achieving my ultimate dream.”
“I felt most anxious during my athletics career because of having very specific goals that had a lot of variables – no matter how I prepared or what I did, there was no guarantee I would win, and this anxiety around potential failure definitely led to the start of self-harming.”
“I’ve been very open about my depression that led to the self-harming, which acted as a release from the deep despair I was feeling. In [2003], the year before my Olympic victories, I had been picking up scissors from my bathroom sink and cutting myself regularly to release the anguish I was feeling. I was worried about appearing weak, so didn’t tell my coach or training partners and didn’t want to worry my friends or family.”
“In the end, the person I confided in hardly spoke English. She was a doctor in the mountains of France, where I was having a massage. The reason I spoke to her wasn’t because I wanted to, but because I lost the plot right there on the massage table, and the masseur was worried about this sobbing woman lying on her bed. The doctor came in and I just blurted it all out. Talking helped me come to terms with what I was doing and put things in perspective. That chat probably saved my life.”
“I like goals, and if I’m preparing for a half marathon or an event, I’ll run regularly, but I like keeping fit in other ways too. I’m a fan of HIIT, cycling and circuit training. I work on core stability, with rope climbing, chin-ups, planks, monkey bars.”
“I don’t like the word diet, I prefer ‘food intake’. I believe in balance and really enjoy my food. I have a lot of protein, fish, chicken and pulses and fruit and vegetables, and make sure I have variety every day. I particularly like sweets, Indian takeaways and Thai food, and I don’t deprive myself of those, I just don’t have them every day.”
“Getting stuck into my fitness and, I hope, inspiring and motivating others to be the best version of themselves is the perfect way to get lost in the moment and forget my own worries – seeing people smile makes me smile.”
“I’m very much aware now of the stages I go through if I’m experiencing stress, which in my case can lead to anxiety and then to depression, so I now know when to ease off and try to stop things building up so that I don’t get overwhelmed. I stay busy, positive 90% of the time, and it’s only the other 10% when I sometimes struggle.”
“I’m not a good sleeper because I have too much in my head. I’ve started using meditation apps to help me unwind, and my favourite chill-out space is my bath. I take a long soak in Epsom salts, which helps the body absorb magnesium – vital for good health. It doesn’t sound much, but it’s far more than I’ve done before about making a real effort to relax.”
