THE SPRING MONTHS could be the perfect opportunity to take stock of what’s going on in your head. Clear out any negative thought patterns, and make some space for optimism – and with the ongoing coronavirus crisis and its impact on our day-to-day lives, there’s never been a better time to shift your focus.
The power of positive thinking is well documented – Lowri Dowthwaite, senior lecturer in psychological interventions at the University of Central Lancashire, says: “Being hopeful and optimistic for the future has been associated with better health and wellbeing.
“It helps to increase psychological resilience when dealing with hardship, and it has also been suggested that increased optimism boosts our immune system.”
For many of us, it can feel not easy to become the eternal optimist, though suddenly. But building a more positive mindset can be done, so where do you start?
Understand the impact of negativity
Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge the detrimental effects of negativity on the brain.
Niels Eék, a psychologist and co-founder of the mental wellbeing platform Remente, says: “That little voice inside your head is something we all have and listen to. If positive and motivating, that inner dialogue can contribute to self-love, confidence, and happiness. However, if it is negative and used to reinforce limitations in our abilities, it can have serious implications for your mental wellbeing.”
He notes a 2017 study at Abilene Christian University, which “found a correlation between negative self-talk and an increase in stress levels, depression, and anxiety.”
Identify your inner dialogue
While it’s unrealistic (and not necessarily healthy) to always be very positive, some minor tweaks could make a big difference.
This dialogue spills typically out in the language we use in our daily interactions, so start by exploring how you speak to those around you. Do you use words like: I can’t, I won’t, it’s my fault, it’ll never happen to me? If so, this is not serving you positively, and you will need to start to reframe your inner narrative.
Flex the mental muscle
Self-talk is a mental muscle, meaning that each time you allow it to tell you what it’s thinking, it is becoming stronger. If you allow your inner voice to repeatedly tell you what you, for example, cannot do, then the negative self-talk will continue.
Instead, work on changing your perspective to provide a more positive and meaningful self-dialogue.
Recognise when you’re jumping to conclusions
When we experience high levels of negative emotions – like anger, jealousy or fear – it’s straightforward to jump to conclusions about whatever the situation is.
This is a classic symptom of ‘personalisation’ self-talk. For example, your friend hasn’t responded to your text, and you start telling yourself it’s because you’ve upset them.
The next time you start to feel that you’re to blame for something going wrong, take a deep breath and ask yourself: Is there any evidence to support your claim? What are some other real reasons?
Or if you’re ‘catastrophising’ and thinking the absolute worst, ask yourself: How likely is this to happen, and if it does, what implications will it have on your life, in the grand scheme of things?
Put pen to paper
Aside from recognising and breaking down negativity sources, it’s essential to focus on joy, contentment, gratitude, and excitement. Try writing down three good things – no matter how big or small – that happen each day. Over time, your brain will learn to pay more attention to the good things in your life.
Promise to be kinder to yourself
You may be prone to ‘polarising’ self-talk, where you see yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and nowhere in-between.
For example, you decided to stick to a healthy eating plan in lockdown but slipped up and ate lots of chocolate, and you beat yourself up about it and tell yourself that you’ll never be able to be healthy.
In this situation, treat yourself with more kindness and patience: If you ate unhealthily one evening, it does not mean your diet is ruined.
Set aside time for worry
It’s often said everything feels better in the morning, so if you find yourself thinking negatively in the evening – possibly about the following day – acknowledge the thoughts but don’t let them take over your evening.
Know that you deserve to be happy and positive
Various theories hypothesise that many people tend to be self-destructive.
When we feel happy or positive, we can sometimes sabotage these feelings by thinking we don’t deserve them or won’t last.
It’s essential to change your mindset and see happiness as an experience that comes and goes. This enables us to let go of the unachievable goal of eternal happiness and enjoy happiness when we experience it.
